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Sunday Apr. 15th, 2012

3rd show Saturday Night. (Clown has a meltdown)

When you find yourself on stage yelling "Jesus Christ lady! Shut your fat fucking mouth so I can do my closer and then we can all go home and get out of the fresh hell of your stupid existence!" you are not winning. Four of my five shows during my two night stand at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC this weekend were nothing less than awesome. It was just a really great weekend. A) I really like the club, B) I worked with great comics, like Mark Normand and Adam Cozens, and C) the management treated me very, very well. But late/third shows in any city, by any comic, under any circumstance, are fucking hard. Unless they've added the third show because of your massive popularity it's gonna be a battle. It's late, the crowd are usually drunk, chatty, loud, not sure why they came, and tired. Add to that they are probably not your fans, or at least mine because mine are home in bed. They are late night curiosity seekers who've stumbled onto the idea of "comedy might be fun" without really knowing what it is they want out of the experience. And they couldn't get into da club so this will have to suffice. By the time you get up on stage they've just watched two other comics so it's late. They've more than likely talked during the opener and peaked as a group during the feature act and now it's your turn to do your "art". Here's the weirdest part. Part of you thinks 'Who knows? Small drunk crowd of disinterested people who don't know me from Adam? Maybe I could turn it into the best set of the week, Maybe I'll be transformative." But mostly you think "Fuck these fucking people!" This happens on no other show besides the late show.But the thing is you are partly to blame. You go up half pissed at people you've pre-judged before you've spent a second with them and then rifle through your material so you can get back to the porn or late night binge eating at the hotel. Saturday night I created my own mess and lived in it. I shouted my act at people who paid to see it. I sped through punch lines and short sold my material. I was apparently put out to be performing standup comedy in an A room in a big city. Huh? Wasn't this the dream? I for certain lacked gratitude and I gave a sub par performance to mostly good people who paid to see a show. I'm not the only comic to ever do this and I won't be the last, but I was that guy Saturday night and I got exactly what I came for. It's amazing how we can create our own worst scenarios and then act surprised or angered by them when we've in fact helped them along. Did that girl deserve a dressing down? Yes! Without a doubt. She was a loud, stupid, self centered bitch who ruined the show for people sitting near her. But the three pretty women at the front table and the nice couple on the left deserved a lot better. Also I'm a pro for fucks sake! So to me I say "Suck it up Nancy and do your act!" My apologies to those that came for comedy and got a tantrum. Except the girl that talked the whole time. She can eat ass. :)

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